I’m sorry I’ve been kinda absent lately.
I’ve made a lot of posts, only to delete them.
The depression has worsened. and for reasons I won’t discuss publicly I’ve just been switched to a new medication in the hopes it makes a difference.
I’m too tired to workout at the moment, I’m barely functioning.
I’m losing it completely. I was a fairy princess at a 6th birthday party today and got to spend a few hours with one of my dearest friends going through a rough time.
I also was rendered totally unable to speak and had another friend cancel on plans to see me. ‘If’ becomes ‘when’ and I am so afraid and alone.
waaaaaaaah your hair is amazing!!! you look HOT ;)
thanks lovely! It was such a fun experience
I had the privilege of being a hair model today. I love my smokin’ new style!
After struggling with depression and eating disorders for most of my life I was tired of merely existing and wanted to start living. Last year I had a list of 21 things to do before my 21st, and seeing snow was one of them. I was so blessed to have some amazing friends who wanted to help me achieve this. they surprised me after work one day with a secret road trip to the mountain. It was such a perfect evening filled with hope and joy and love, letting the simple become magical, creating adventure and embracing spontaneity. I want to always appreciate the little things, and remain in love with this life throughout the hard times. I will forever adore my teensy tiny snowflake that serves as a reminder of this!
I had a huge giggle to myself this morning when I put my dressing gown on - remembering the time at high school I was so messed up and stuck in my eating disorder that I thought it was a sweatshirt and I wore it to mufti day. yeah I rock this ;)
wore my pajama pants to work….
- because it’s a Saturday and I start at 6am
- because we have to put whites on overtop anyway
- because it’s been raining too much for my washing to dry
- because life is hard
- because I’m feeling very ‘medicated’ (is that a feeling?)
justified? I think so.
one of the (many) problems with my job is the injuries sustained from being too cold for proper spacial awareness. My knuckles are all bruised and swollen and I’ve no idea what or when I bumped anything.
gingernuts and chai latte in my favourite mug
+ pajamas and dressing gown at 3pm because oh my it’s been a long and tiring day.
I successfully went shopping and bought a new top though, and felt very cute for my group interview and didn’t need to compare myself against anyone else there.
I feel this depression lifting. life can be sweet.